


(I'm) Still (Here)

by cjr



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Has Nightmares, Fluff, M/M, Nogitsune Stiles, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, stiles and derek make pancakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-02 23:38:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4078255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjr/pseuds/cjr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The flickering lights were almost in tune with the beating of his heart.  He could hear the footsteps drawing closer, but the man’s face was too difficult to make out.  “Stiles?”</p><p>“Sorry, Derek,” the man responded, with a tone signifying that he was not sorry at all. </p><p>“Please, not again,” he begged from his position on the floor.  </p><p>“Not again, Derek.  Still.”  </p><p>OR</p><p>Derek's still has nightmares sometimes but it's okay because Stiles is always there when he wakes up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(I'm) Still (Here)

The flickering lights were almost in tune with the beating of his heart. He could hear the footsteps drawing closer, but the man’s face was too difficult to make out. “Stiles?”

“Sorry, Derek,” the man responded, with a tone signifying that he was not sorry at all. But this man was not to be confused with Stiles. With Stiles’ light air and carefree smiles. With his sarcastic humor and clever, beautiful eyes. With his energy, and way of talking that is so 100% Stiles. This man—beast—no, thing— was not Stiles. His eyes were ruthless and cold in a way Stiles’ could never be. He was the thing that haunted the pack, always in their minds, how one of them could become something…else. How it had happened with no warning, with no hints and no foreshadowing. How it happened and no one had even noticed at first. Not the Sheriff. Not Scott. Not Derek. Not Stiles. 

“Please, not again,” he begged from his position on the floor. He couldn’t take it for it to happen again. He had been so unsure. Had felt so unsafe, around others, and, surprisingly enough, alone. He had felt betrayed, by whom he wasn’t sure, because he didn’t blame Stiles, couldn’t possibly blame Stiles. (He thinks by himself. He knows he’s to blame somehow. He just can’t remember where he must’ve gone wrong.)

“Not again, Derek. Still.” Derek was shocked by the disgust he felt at hearing that thing say his name before he even processed what it had said. Still. The word rung through Derek’s mind, through his entire body, every cell of his being shook at the thought. Still. It had all been an act. They had never won, never out-tricked the fox. Stiles was still stuck inside that thing somewhere watching everything. Watching as his friends were tricked by the same act again and again. Probably screaming in misery. 

Still. Not again. Still. It had never left. It had studied for Stiles, done the kid’s homework. Walked across the stage for graduation. Laughed, talked, smiled, cried. Loved. Still. 

He should’ve known. Should’ve seen this coming. The last years had been too good to be true. He should’ve seen it when Stiles started coming to the loft more often following his possession. Or, Derek thought with self loathing, continuing his possession. The first time that he clumsily reached over to Derek and dragged him into a messy kiss that tasted of Cheetos, but was somehow perfect. When Derek got down on one knee only to be angrily pulled up and sat down so that Stiles could get on one knee himself. (Stiles’d been planning it for a while and had planned to ask the next full moon, but there was no way Derek was proposing first, if he had a say in it.) He should’ve known. 

Still.

 

“Derek!”

Derek awoke with a start, immediately pulling his hand to caress his sore cheek. “Um, ow?” he said, turning to his partner.

“Dude, you were dreaming,” the man laying atop him said, resting his face on Derek’s chest and snuggling close. Derek looked around and took in the clawed up sheets. He took a deep breath. He smelled himself and Stiles all around the room, Stiles’ panic beginning to fade to contentment, but no blood, so better than last time.

“Sorry—“ Derek began.

“Shh, it’s fine,” Stiles mumbled into him, “Was it the same dream?” Derek nodded. “I’m here, Derek. Me. And I, Stiles Genim Stilinski, love you, Derek Michael Hale. Me. Stiles, the one and only, greatest man alive, and protagonist in all your deep, dark fantasies.” And yeah, Derek didn’t know why his subconscious thought that all that could be an act. Derek snorted.

“I love you too, idiot,” Derek smiled and craned his head up to kiss his husband. Stiles pushed away, fake affronted, and started smacking Derek. “Okay, okay! Sorry,” Derek laughed, grabbing at Stiles’ arms and pinning them to stop the hitting. Stiles stuck his tongue out in retaliation.

“You can make it up to me with pancakes. And morning sex.” Derek chuckled, you bet your ass he could, starting to grind up into Stiles. Just as Stiles was starting to reciprocate, he rolled over, caging Stiles to the bed. Leaned down and gave him a slight peck, then hopped up and out of bed, slipping on some sweats and heading to the kitchen, leaving a disgruntled Stiles behind in his bed. “They better be chocolate chip pancakes if you’re going to be an asshole about it!” 

Derek was pulling out the box pancake mix when he heard a loud thunk and then a low groan. He was almost finished mixing the batter when a nearly naked Stiles slipped up behind him and wrapped his arms around to grab a chocolate chip. “I really, really love you,” he said quietly before heading to the fridge to get the strawberries. 

Derek would wait until later to respond, preferably when they were both naked. He would slowly show Stiles how much he loved him, taking his time to care for his wonderful husband. He would pour his heart and soul out for Stiles, his husband, his mate, his anchor. A few years ago he wouldn’t have been able to imagine being this content, but now he can hardly remember what it was like being so miserable. But for now, he kissed Stiles’ cheek and swiped a strawberry from his already cut pile, popped it into his mouth, and cooked some pancakes.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik (from Treasure Planet, which if you haven't seen, you should)
> 
> Ficlet idea from these wonderful gifs http://dereks-henley.tumblr.com/post/115637192885/not-again-derek-still
> 
> Come visit me on tumblr! whowhatwhenwhereandwhynot.tumblr.com
> 
> I appreciate all feedback! And this is unbeta'd so if you notice an error, leave a comment and I will try to fix it!
> 
> I tried to make this dark at first, but, well, you can see how that turned out for me.


End file.
